vain

does death

always have to come

with vain

 

if the proper steps aren’t taken,

if you decide

to sit with it for a while,

question

why the loss of something,

someone,

can’t just stand still, be what it is,

a truth that lays down

beneath the dirt besides its owner,

doesn’t trickle into the water

asking you to take a drink,

to take it as your own.

 

it’s hard work, making sense of it;

but maybe we are responsible, in part.

 

maybe we can choose, if we are willing,

if we are able, to hold onto the love

that you have lost and rekindle it,

make it something valuable, something important–

something that, in it’s own way,

allows us to say,

“At least he didn’t die in vain.”

 

July 30, 2017

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Life

I don’t care

what you believe in,

as long as you admit

that there is something first and foremost,

yesterday, today, and tomorrow

beyond life and death

undeniable,

beyond your front door, your morning coffee, your Instagram feed

 

Life

is the spirit between your collar bones,

beneath  your chest,

the heartbeat Earth lent you

asking only two things in return:

don’t forget

where you came from;

don’t forget

to give back.

 

March 26, 2017

Love or Life?

Do I choose love,

or do I choose life,

down in here in this pit of society

where I can chose 1, be a woman

or 2, be someone, something else

I don’t know what that something is,

exactly, but I do know

it is something of a warrior,

everything of a human being

when love becomes “the next step” in life,

when it becomes a final goal

it ruins the songs for me, it ruins the longing in my heart

for love and life and more,

a world that can make sense again,

a space where I can start learning how the puzzle fits together

rather than about each individual piece,

peace does not, will not, never comes from love alone

these good-vibes-only signs make me want to be bad

I want to speak a language everyone will understand,

that will encompass sympathy and empathy and compassion

and purpose and results. I want to act.

 

I do want love.

But I want to live, too.

I want to live the life I choose,

not just that of the mother or the wife or the nurturer.

 

I want to give this Earth a voice.

That would do just fine.

 

a rambling in the wake International Women’s Day…

a day we shouldn’t need to celebrate…a day that should be every. day.

March 10, 2017

Practice

What makes you think you have to win,

that this is all a game?

 

I think that’s what they want you to think.

I think it’s what they’ve fed you since you were four.

 

Such a precious word, Practice.

 

Life is not winning and losing

and capitalism and greed

and first and last

and fixing and solving

and searching and striving.

 

Life is Practice–

for its own sake.

 

February 11, 2017

S

Your story,

as important as it has become to you in this life,

is just a story.

 

There is something bigger at work here.

 

Your story,

as important as it has become to you in this life,

is just a letter.

 

It’s the letter “S”

with its roadway curves

and lack of edges–

it is a letter, in a word,

on a page, in a book.

 

 

The only truth is connection.

 

The only outcome is surrender.

 

December 3, 2016

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

One of my favorite poems…