Surrender

When I was younger
my doubt came in the form of a size 4
black and white
soccer ball
“Can I win,
can I beat the player
these coaches have formed inside of my head?”
I wrote
and I wrote
and finally I forgave

I created a new reality of real-life-results
and they stuck.

Today I read words that reminded me of that time
“Everything is to be nurtured,”
and I cannot think literally about this.

We must think clearly,
sharply,
simply
about what the nurtured soul is to begin with.

Asking myself,
“How do I feel?”
Without judgement,
without delay
is most likely the most important question
I will have asked myself in four years
the last time I stepped on the field
that I believed scarred me

It had given me strength.

Beauty is to be nurtured
Simplicity is to be nurtured
Love is to be nurtured.

For buried under all that nasty doubt,
my final enemy,
is a white flag
I know as freedom.

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Surrender

I will accept surrender in all of its forms.

I will surrender to the beauty of the natural.

I will question and battle any unnatural, painful force

remember that society is nothing but an illusion

but all the more real for it

is the pain you feel when you realize

you are just a step in the ladder

Do not let them step on you.

I will accept surrender in all of its forms.

My body is my temple

and so is my mind–

do not let it battle itself because of society’s lies

I will surrender to the beauty of the natural.

I am, You are, We are natural

creatures in God’s universe

we were made by the one thing that could inspire

a Fall, a Big Bang, a Whisper into a Soul

Love

is the most natural thing about us;

we may not be perfect

but our Love is

we must embrace it with two hands, one heart,

one head

that feels like it’s been a battleground for so long.

Remember your childhood:

The trees that protected your fuzzy head

The breeze that tickled the space between your toes

The breath that flowed in and out without a care

The laughs from inside sprinkled out into the wilderness

from an open door.

All we have is each other;

All we have is love.

I will accept surrender in all of its forms.

..

I will surrender to the beauty of the natural.

………………………………………………………………….

May 30, 2015