Rings

It would never have worked out anyway,

you and I.

.

Me,

a lonely tree,

still sturdy enough

to shelter you when there was rain

my own pain present in my rings–

you wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t made you ask.

.

You,

a fallen sparrow,

just looking for a place to stay

until you flew away–

your wings are meant for flying, you know.

.

Naturally,

we parted ways,

years floating by as you flew, and I grew tall–

I can see more beauty from a distance, now.

.

I stand my ground,

and sometimes look around

at the leaves I have spread,

effortlessly,

onto the earth below:

expanding pain and beauty and time

giving only wisdom back

to the soil–

they are called growth rings,

after all.

imgres.jpg

This weekend, I shared some of my work at the Nuyorican Poets Cafe in NYC.  Considering I had not planned on this at all (had only expected to listen to some spoken word) it went pretty well! The experience paired with this lovely article (http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/the-mindful-life-illustrated-what-we-can-learn-from-trees/) inspired this poem…and for me to change things up and add a [google search provided] photograph.  Happy Monday! 

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My Mind

At times,

I feel nervous–

nervous that it

is stronger than me.

*

It can make any situation into a problem,

labeling itself a “worry wart”

(and who would ever want to be a wart?)

this is my fear:

*

It will change my relationships

it will tarnish my career

it will make all the beauty I’ve felt inside of me

feel meaningless.

*

It is crazy to think I’m not alone.

*

The truth is that beauty is eternal,

and my mind

will never be stronger than my presence,

patient like a willow

it will flow in the breeze,

follow me step by worry torn step

relaxing my insides,

releasing the mountain of love

that lives inside my chest–

it lives in all of us.

*

Sometimes,

I read quotes;

maybe they will make me feel “better”

maybe they will “fix” my mind–

I know only I can.

*

At all times,

I know there is timelessness,

the truth,

our only savior,

waiting for my heart to forgive my head,

catch up with my soul,

and allow myself

to lay,

still.

*

September 20, 2015

Bein vulnerable on this Sunday.  Peace and love. ❤ 

City Living

We live here,

apartment three

floor four–

it’s confusing,

I know.

Burgundy molding

pinches the outside of my window,

a gentle beauty

I did not expect to find on my side

of New York City.

The big picture is always on my mind;

and yet I so rarely see it.

I can stand across the street

and trace the molding with my finger,

flowers and leaves winding down,

perfectly framing a place

that makes home feel a little bit closer.

My head hurts, sometimes.

Despite the pretty picture

I can still hear the questions

layered in the window pane,

stories corned in by concrete slabs

and the society

we close our doors and try to hide from

We cannot lock ourselves away forever.

My eyes are beginning to open,

learning what it means to not just think

holistically

but to be whole;

not just to trace the molding

but to hold the painting,

turn the knob,

open the door.

September 18, 2015

Something Real

Compliments

of division

my life story

mingles in threads

of Catholicism

and the like

and I must stop myself

from pulling them loose.

Fighting anything

will never result

in absolution

I do not want to dismantle

the quilt;

I just want to prove

that it is nothing more

than patchwork.

Positive energy

can be difficult to gather

when your tribe has only consisted

of society and people living on the line

of nothing more than muddled minds–

it’s a connection that never lasts.

Instead of fabrication

I seek connection to nature’s past,

present and future,

the fact that the present

is the only reality that can turn us inwards

face us homewards

we are all connected by something greater:

Being, love– they live inside of us.

Religion crumples before it,

nationalities will laugh,

countries torn by economic mishap

and strife will fall to their knees

when we realize that the external fight

will never result in internal freedom.

I do not want to destroy a notion;

I just want to shine light on the beauty

of something real.

August 23, 2015

Surrender

I will accept surrender in all of its forms.

I will surrender to the beauty of the natural.

I will question and battle any unnatural, painful force

remember that society is nothing but an illusion

but all the more real for it

is the pain you feel when you realize

you are just a step in the ladder

Do not let them step on you.

I will accept surrender in all of its forms.

My body is my temple

and so is my mind–

do not let it battle itself because of society’s lies

I will surrender to the beauty of the natural.

I am, You are, We are natural

creatures in God’s universe

we were made by the one thing that could inspire

a Fall, a Big Bang, a Whisper into a Soul

Love

is the most natural thing about us;

we may not be perfect

but our Love is

we must embrace it with two hands, one heart,

one head

that feels like it’s been a battleground for so long.

Remember your childhood:

The trees that protected your fuzzy head

The breeze that tickled the space between your toes

The breath that flowed in and out without a care

The laughs from inside sprinkled out into the wilderness

from an open door.

All we have is each other;

All we have is love.

I will accept surrender in all of its forms.

..

I will surrender to the beauty of the natural.

………………………………………………………………….

May 30, 2015

Listen; Love

I can listen with my skin

as well as my ears,

see the stars with my pores

leaking the magic of, “I wonder

how long it will be until humans

realize they can fly?”

 

I’ll walk down, too.

 

My mind sighs to the moon

wishing that the mess in the chaos

wasn’t so easy to side with,

easing away beauty: its twilight brother.

 

If we are one under the same sun

do not judge me by my pigment,

make a predicament out of my future

calling me back to a place

where time was slow,

race was none,

and love was all

one listened for,

at night.

 

March 19, 2015

Stars

Stars,

take a glimpse at my eyes

calling.

 

Do they sound like home?

 

Or are they in need of rescue,

an escape plan

falling out of place

into an enough-to-breathe

lifetime’s supply of light?

 

Stars,

let’s hope for something true

in the midst of all this damn dark,

turn the misery of being into my beauty,

 

Light up my Orion

so I can see.

 

September 8, 2014