A Note

To my beautiful baby brother:

you have to grow up in an age of social media

and all of its toxins

and it is not your fault.

You have no control over it,

nor do I.

All I want do to is live it for you—

the suicides,

the mass shooting threats,

every day life in boring ass high school —

keep it boring!

School was meant to be that way,

safe enough to be boring.

Not even the white people are safe,

not even the rich people.

My beautiful Puerto Rican brother:

do you fit in? do you like it? do you not?

Tell me more than “ugh.”

I know your innocent face,

your soul-searching eyes

I have seen your heart

and its pure essence

a thousand times.

I just hope I told you enough stories…

about how much you are loved,

and how smart and kind and handsome

you are, my brother — you can do it,

because it cannot last for much longer.

I will take every bullet of some child

calling out for help;

I will relive 9th, 10th — fuck, every grade

if that is what it takes to protect you,

to take up that space of wondering.

The world has changed

in just 10 short years between me and you.

Look at what Facebook has done,

kids sending Snaps 1,000 times a day.

My brother I do not know shit about “SnapChat”

but I know you are more than it,

I promise you.

Everyone is wandering,

looking for more than a screen—

and yet video games have saved you.

Play SmashBros all freaking day

if that is what it takes to save you, my boy,

from giving a damn what people think.

How do I protect you from this world…

this pit of society

that is eating minds and bodies alive?

How do I get you to talk truth?

Who cares “how.”

Know that it is enough to try,

enough to be with yourself,

fully.

Whenever your body yells,

“Trauma!”

“Pain!”

“Greif!”

Cradle every part

and say, “I am here for you, always.”

And remember:

your sister is here for you.

Always.

 

March 29, 2019

Advertisements

Facebook Reflection

Facebook is the ultimate look into past, present, future

into comparing and contrasting

into “too good” or “not good enough.”

.

Let’s give it a rest, already.

.

Me, you,

we’re narratives–

of course we are not the same person we were yesterday.

.

We learn, we grow, we fall,

we show the world that it’s forever above us,

the way it should be.

.

I have too many other things to do in my life

to make time for worrying–

words to write,

pictures to draw,

tattoos to contemplate,

people to admire and adore.

.

Look into my eyes to read me,

light browns with just a hint of green

I am whole–

you don’t need my Facebook to complete the picture.

.

Stop the craze.

This moment is enough.

.

When the Internet crashes,

what will be left to hand down to our children,

our grandchildren?

.

I want them to be warm in our hand-woven scarves,

in wonder of the way technology made our lives fuller,

not our egos.

.

I want to connect to you,

but can’t the pictures wait?

Your thoughts wait?

Can’t we accept that we will never be able to craft ourselves

or time

into anything other than the beautiful imperfection they are?

.

Love me, fully,

please.

.

Not for my profile picture, my cover photo,

not my number of likes

or history of boyfriends.

.

Love me fully, simply,

for me.

.

May 31, 2015