To Be Me

What a struggle

to be me,

sitting here

so patiently

waiting for a new train to come,

the last one long gone,

gone, gone…

 

We need nothing,

and yet there is longing;

we want everything,

and yet here it is:

everything,

sitting

on some stone in my backyard.

 

All alone, it has sat.

 

Patiently,

sitting,

in a station

I have sat at many times.

 

Maybe if it looked in on itself,

it would find patience there, too.

 

January 9, 2016

Ego..

How hard it is

to live with Ego.

.

Now that I’ve not only see his face

I’ve heard his voice

I’ve listened to his song–

he doesn’t need to sing any longer.

.

And yet

how do I tell the stomach below me

to stop clenching like a fist

as my sister is hit on at the bar,

three times I stand on, passerby

and boy number two reassuringly states,

“You’re okay, but she’s…”

Knowing your standards

and having them met by those around you

are two entirely different things.

.

I brush my teeth,

one tooth at a time

like a child

I take my time

to remember that time is not real

only “now” is “real”

how “real” is “I”?

.

I’ve learned I have to stop taking myself

so seriously

when the term “myself,”

has already been exhausted by society;

no need for me to spin it round.

.

It plays games with Ego

spinning round like a top

at least I now know to slow down.

.

I need to slow down.

.

We need,

fellow love-torn-patience-worn-thin-

when-this-world-itsn’t-even-ours-to-begin-with-

humans,

to slow down.

.

July 11, 2015

“I” and “Us”

We must

put the “simple”

back in

“society.”

…..

It’s a one-ring circus

where only “I’s” are the conductors

it will never suffice

in a world of 7 billion

of “us.”

….

How did our fathers land us here?

More like,

“How do we get ourselves out?”

I want to know

that if I were to have a daughter

she will see a river,

touch a lake with two hands;

if a son,

that he will not be afraid of dreaming

of an extra-compassionate-driven,

less-profit-informed

show–

..

instead of money give me roses,

I believe the future deserves them.

.

For it is our story to write,

to be written by a hand

that wrote of global harmony,

welcomed women

taking a stand for what is right,

taking a stand for freedom,

taking a stand

for “us.”

April 10, 2015

I, You, and Me

“There’s no need

to play with my heart.”

I never realized

just how badly

you hurt me

But the beauty

is that it is not “me”

that you hurt.

I am human,

a continuous self

not stagnant,

sitting on a shelf

I have learned

and I have moved

away

from the erroneous notion

that “I”

is a real term–

we are all connected

please show me

in the times my past

comes creeping up into my chest

that the pain is worth

the sunshine I still see

outside my window,

the candles lighting my table

they sit

honestly,

knowingly,

unquestioning

of past boyfriends and best friends

who seemed to know what was best for me

when I was a “me” without a voice

Now,

I am heard

we all have something to say–

first to ourselves

the memories will still glitter

like gold

as I crumple up the ugly

into ashes,

for my soul has always been clean

You were 

always hurting,

for you were

are

human, too,

on the brink of an island

of our childhoods,

our teenage, innocence-tacked

to-naivety

years

have gone by

and I feel like the only thing left

to do

is to not to forgive and forget,

but to forgive…

And then hurry on back

to my “me,”

our “us,”

now.

..

inspired in part by the music of Noah and the Whale 

.

April 5, 2015