thoughts after the party

who says I have to follow him around,

chase a boy that didn’t see me in the first place?

be brave in the moment,


but no woman should have to go chasing after a man,

force the queen that she is into his face

and push “forever.”

I walk away,

stare at the blank concrete

and wonder, for the millionth time,

“When will he come?”

well, I’m tired.

it is what society has fed us from the womb

It is why boys eye me from across the street

it is how biology may have made us

but no matter–

women can think, too.

to say,

“I am enough,”

is not the same as


“I am enough.”

the 14 year old girl on Instagram posting selfies

in hopes of some hot guy’s comments:

you are enough.

the sister and the daughter and the grandmother

who have seen the message passed down from generation

to generation, “When are you marrying him?”

Well, “When will you finally realize that you’re married to yourself?”

I am enough.

it’s not that I don’t want that warmth and satisfaction

of knowing I can hold one man for the rest of time

but I don’t want to chase him into doing so.

I am light,

and if I have to wait until someone not only sees it

but looks at me, straight in the eyes

and says they want to be my sun…

that’s okay, too.

June 6, 2015



“Marry yourself,” she said as I sank into the water.

You know, a warm bath at 2am

sure does beat being alone in that big bed–

but, then again, I’m used to it.


People say I’ve lived simply;

Others say I’m simply free.


What if simplicity is the source of freedom?

What if taking vows with hand and foot,

belly and white-rose hips makes me

into the most expressive me?


What else is there to do while I sit back

on my pillow, awaiting a call from a boy

that will not complete me?


For I am whole, never alone, but with me.


And if all people could aspire to look

in the mirror, out the door, into other’s eyes

with the same confident velocity

this young woman has brought me today–

well, I know this world could be better.


It would be knowingly complete.


based on Tracy McMillan’s TED video

June 12, 2014