Time, Reflected

The feelings I write,

the feelings I give

today I ponder time

and a clock strung with string

and the powerful men

of tomorrow

when I take a stake

in my own power,

honey,

when I sip tea and drink juice

(smoothies, preferably)

I feel mad at times,

and worried at times

past and future “tick” by

but present

molds,

holds,

unfolds

in the up-down motion of an eyelid,

the snowflake melting on your palm,

the silence when dad shows up

but not mom.

It is in these spaces that time was invented,

and dreams were had

where forgiveness was a portal

within a portal

and sand did not make the hour glass –

it was the ocean that made the glass,

the sea whispering home

as I recount

powerful men,

and the flipping of coins,

and the thrill of a poem

well ended.

 

inspired by the work I saw at chanorth art residency: https://www.instagram.com/chanorthartresidency/

cover art: https://www.instagram.com/dannibellandostudio/

 

July 29, 2019

All

It’s all about leaning forward.

 

In the moments fear grabs your neck like a thief

and you don’t know where you belong–

the sky or the ground–

realize that all we can do is lean into the moment.

 

It’s all about being honest with yourself,

about yourself.

 

In the times joy cradles you in their arms

like a newborn child

know that you, too, can rest–

realize that you, too, are safe as long as you exist.

 

It’s all about loving yourself,

the darkness and the light.

 

Society comes up with names for every game we play,

whether it’s in our head and back again

the way we look up at skyscrapers and billboards

beach walkways and desert islands

your children are my children

we are all of the same skin

just let me in on the secret of sin

there’s no winning or losing,

there’s just where you are

and where you’ve been

in these bodies we pray

these genes aren’t moving today

they’ve taken up residence for a reason

in an effort to survive despite the season

trust in your Self, above all else

no matter what name you’ve learned,

you are here Now,

so love all of your Self,

not just some.

 

April 10, 2016

through my window

the intersection

of tree

and sky,

the lines 

they paint

across pale blue horizons 

while two black specks of bird chase each other.

***

Truth,

expanding over snow-dipped houses–

it will never be found beneath my pen.

***

the earth knows things my mind cannot see.

***

but I can still sit back,

exhale,

and soak in the view:

a single, conscious moment in the universe.

tumblr_nxewliCb0n1u489n5o1_1280.jpgFebruary 6, 2016

Who I Am

I can’t change the world

because it is already perfect*…

 

All you could ever want,

ever need

is all you could ever have:

Now.

 

And you always will–

as long as you are here on this Earth.

 

Now surrounds;

thus love, peace and perfect abundance surrounds…

and this is who I am,

who we are,

forever.

 

June 17, 2015

*I truly believe the world is perfect, meaning the Earth and the basic love that makes us who we are.  Society, however, where our minds live more often than not, is where evil and imperfection live more often than not. A second note: this was just a series of notes and reactions from reading the book, Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, that I referenced in my last post.

A Lesson on Father’s Day: Listen and Love

For the first time in what feels like a while, I am taking a break from poetry for this lovely Sunday.

I am currently reading an appropriately enlightening book (one that many of you might already know), Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. From what I have taken away from the book so far, Eckhart’s main idea is that we all, as humans, have grown to identify ourselves with our minds. Our identities are thus formulated around time: the mind depends on time to function, the idea that we have a past behind us and a future in front of us. The problem with this, however, is that the past and future do not truly exist. Our minds wind up thinking too much about something that is not real, instead of focusing on the Being in each of us, the only thing that is real: the “now.”

This book is important to me, if not for any other reason than for putting into words a feeling that I have had much of my life, the same feeling that has escaped me for quite some time. If you were to find a mirror right now, stand or sit in front of it for more than a minute, and just stare at yourself, absent of thought or surrounding noise, what would you see? Would your brain register the image as you, meaning “Michael” or “Mary” or “John”? Would you feel that name and your “story,” your past and future self, is the real “you”? I used to do this growing up, most times accidentally, and I would, after a while, say my name to myself. I would repeat it over and over. And yet it did not stick. The name had no meaning– if anything, it made me truly question, “Who is Reaching Joy*? She is not real.”

It didn’t feel like me; but it was a good feeling. I felt like I was much more than just my name, my story. I was, my identity was based upon, the simple feeling of being alive. I felt connected to a force much bigger than myself, a force that held more truth than the identities we carry with us day to day.

It was a unique feeling, indeed, to experience growing up. I once tried to explain the experience to my friend in college and she looked at me like I was crazy. I do not blame her. But now, reading Tolle’s book, I can see and begin to understand what I was experiencing. Was it a form of “spiritual enlightenment,” as he describes it? I am not sure. But I do know one thing: the one thing that I have always believed in is that we do not know anything in this life. Tolle’s book has now let me in on a second thing I truly believe in: listening.

When we listen to others, to the world around us, to our own selves, we tap into something much more meaningful and truthful than anything we could speak verbally or inwardly through thought. To truly listen means to quiet everything: the mind, judgement, the notion of time. If we really know nothing as human beings– as I believe– listening allows us to observe our world and experience it for what it is, not for what our perception makes it out to be. If there is a truth to be found in this world, listening is the way to it.

Oh, and I do believe in love– a love that connects our experiences to each other and everything around us. Love and listening: they are what I want to be the center of my life. Thank you, Tolle, for teaching me this.

What do you think of Tolle’s message? And what is the center of your life?

*I substituted my real name for my blog name, naturally

Facebook Reflection

Facebook is the ultimate look into past, present, future

into comparing and contrasting

into “too good” or “not good enough.”

.

Let’s give it a rest, already.

.

Me, you,

we’re narratives–

of course we are not the same person we were yesterday.

.

We learn, we grow, we fall,

we show the world that it’s forever above us,

the way it should be.

.

I have too many other things to do in my life

to make time for worrying–

words to write,

pictures to draw,

tattoos to contemplate,

people to admire and adore.

.

Look into my eyes to read me,

light browns with just a hint of green

I am whole–

you don’t need my Facebook to complete the picture.

.

Stop the craze.

This moment is enough.

.

When the Internet crashes,

what will be left to hand down to our children,

our grandchildren?

.

I want them to be warm in our hand-woven scarves,

in wonder of the way technology made our lives fuller,

not our egos.

.

I want to connect to you,

but can’t the pictures wait?

Your thoughts wait?

Can’t we accept that we will never be able to craft ourselves

or time

into anything other than the beautiful imperfection they are?

.

Love me, fully,

please.

.

Not for my profile picture, my cover photo,

not my number of likes

or history of boyfriends.

.

Love me fully, simply,

for me.

.

May 31, 2015