Life as She, as They

To look upon a lover

and see new life

coming into being…

when you didn’t know

that life was beyond

a baby and a cradle,

that this moment

of one life manifested

with another that is god damn

beautiful

enough to allow a new life

to emerge–

a love that is a life itself.

 

And so I must challenge myself.

 

We all want that love,

so why not work on it on our own

stake your claim

on yourself

put “you”

first, middle, and last

interwoven, intertwined

in all other loves that come your way.

 

Love is only two manifestations

meeting after all;

that’s all it takes.

If you’re lucky enough to find

two, three, four–

my darling,

devour them.

 

Wonder how you got so lucky

but do not ask why

because you are here,

and this is now,

and only she knows,

only they know,

only Life knows,

the sum of all nows.

 

July 17, 2018

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Hello

my darling,

sleeping in this bed,

waiting until

there’s only now

and no tomorrow;

each cell

a masterpiece

of sound and I

celebrate

the beauty

that has come

into my life.

 

Slowly, sun lifts

from eyebrow

to eyebrow,

yawns across the sky

and grants us a grin–

now tell me again

of this thing called love?

I hear you

in the night,

just as gentle

and unafraid

as you are

in the morning–

sun shining,

blades of grass

shooting upwards,

following my mind’s eye

as I send

a word of thanks

to whatever god

there is for sending

you to me.

 

How many steps

were taken,

books read,

conversations had

until you reached

my lips?

How many times

did we scream,

“When?”

before I could

tell you,

“Now”?

 

It is always now.

 

It is always now

that I will love

your midnight kisses,

blush as you name

your reasons

for loving me;

now is the time

I love you

and the tongue

you use to speak,

words of rise

and triumph

and resistance

and awe.

 

Now is a time

for no time,

for no thing,

except our cells

lighting up,

greeting each other,

saying,

“Hello, again…”

 

March 8, 2018

 

Things

Whatever comes naturally–

that is the “right” thing

that is the “wrong” thing

well, it’s just a “thing.”

Perhaps it’s “nothing.”

This feeling of trying

to reach out and grasp

an answer out of thin air

I’ve been chasing it

for a long, long time,

but not as long as I have been

breathing, kicking, speaking

these “things” we advocate for

and believe in are just “no things”

living and dying and rising

and settling for rather than loving

“Trust me,” says the wind,

“Listen,” says the water,

“You’re here!” says the bird.

Meditate on that.

Find your passion.

Be the passion

that allows you to be.

 

July 20, 2016

All

It’s all about leaning forward.

 

In the moments fear grabs your neck like a thief

and you don’t know where you belong–

the sky or the ground–

realize that all we can do is lean into the moment.

 

It’s all about being honest with yourself,

about yourself.

 

In the times joy cradles you in their arms

like a newborn child

know that you, too, can rest–

realize that you, too, are safe as long as you exist.

 

It’s all about loving yourself,

the darkness and the light.

 

Society comes up with names for every game we play,

whether it’s in our head and back again

the way we look up at skyscrapers and billboards

beach walkways and desert islands

your children are my children

we are all of the same skin

just let me in on the secret of sin

there’s no winning or losing,

there’s just where you are

and where you’ve been

in these bodies we pray

these genes aren’t moving today

they’ve taken up residence for a reason

in an effort to survive despite the season

trust in your Self, above all else

no matter what name you’ve learned,

you are here Now,

so love all of your Self,

not just some.

 

April 10, 2016

Love is Now

I do not have to save the world.

I do not have to solve every problem.

I do not have to be perfect.

 

I only have to be here, now.

 

The only way I disrupt the now

is by focusing on the pain of the past

or the uncertainty of the future.

 

They do no exist, here.

 

In the now,

my skin lives,

my mind grows

and stills…

my breath settles and flies

inward, upward.

 

Now is perfect.

Now is calm.

Now is peaceful.

Love is now.

 

And now,

well, now…

is always.

 

April 4, 2016

The Fight

I once thought of life as a screen.

Shakespeare had his stage. Silverstein, some blue skin.

Entirely hidden.   A teardrop in a lake.

We all have our moments.  The daunting school hallway at ten. The basement party at twenty.  The busy conference room at thirty.

But I don’t want to hide.

I don’t have anything to hide.

Somewhere down the line of evolution, we established that our lives are meant to be competitive. We are meant to thrash and wrangle and bite. We are meant to be afraid of each other. I’d like to think we know better now. There are greater things that motivate us.

Then why don’t we act like it?

Life can be pretty scary. When all you hear on the news are gunshots and all you read about is a blonde Republican’s hair, why wouldn’t there be some fear?

I’d like to think we know better.

Competition separates us. We have isolated each other.  Our money. Our land. Our relationships. Our minds. Our hearts.

We all come from the same thing– we should know that now. We still don’t agree upon it.  Isolation still pulls through. When religion is supposed to bring love and it instead hides fear– it continues to isolate us. When education is supposed to open minds and it instead hammers the same ideas into us over and over, we remain locked in the past.

I’d like to think we know better. I’d like to think we can think better, act better.

I’d like to think that we are all just humans– not the money we decided to print, documents we decided to write, governments we decided to form.

We are all just people.

Yet I still feel the need to remind myself of that sometimes.

A friend of mine recently told me that being vulnerable, not wearing the mask, laying it all out on the table– it’s more than the fear we perceive. It means you don’t need to wear any armor. It means there is no one left to fight.

I’m ready to stop fighting.