Haiku 4

Sit in April rain;

now watch as it turns to snow;

laugh that this is spring.

 

April 9, 2016

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Flowers

These flowers are growing again

in my head

and like a vine

they neither swoop nor swing–

they cling

to each side of my brain,

try to determine what type of learner I am

but either way, thoughts can’t be pushed

out of the way

so I’ll plan out another day to pluck and prune.

 

For now,

let me sit, lay down my head and rest

let nature have its way

before I run and play, amidst the gardens

outside these walls; in each season

they grow flowers, all their pinks and blacks

and greens– they look familiar to me.

 

In my mind I see a mirror,

one I can’t protest:

an image of you, an image of me

and sweet, pink, spring flowers,

scattered at my feet.

 

Each petal falls so slowly;

I do not stand in their way.

 

I watch in perfect silence;

I pray for peace today.

 

February 28, 2016

why I’m still into monogamy

Like a sunflower at dawn

the light circles the window,

slowly, from pane to pane:

white fabric fading along

the edges, the slight smudge

of gray near the nightstand,

a black and white journal

shedding its ink. The carpet

is still blue, like an autumn sky

with a few scattered clouds,

makeup stains sprawling.

The dresser is dark wood and tall

like a castle, the mirror elegantly

gazing at the front wall, a pair

of slippers hiding underneath.  I

open two drawers and find them

empty; the other four, stacked full:

old T-shirt memories, championships

and golf tournaments, razorbacks

and soft wool sweaters mixed together.

The bed seems bigger now, a new down

cover reminding me of a new castle,

a different prince– one I could never get

to know in one lifetime, let alone one day.

But I can still sit here, quietly, observing

the nooks and crannies, allowing time to

haunt its human victim into realizing that

we can never fully know a thing, a person,

a place– so I might as well spend my life

with one man, one window, one room,

learning to love all the fuzzy details I am

lucky enough to capture.

 

happy love day!  I’ve been wanting to write a poem like this for a while, now…I’m sure I will be returning to it in the future, to tweak it here and there; but the underlying message will most likely stay the same.  I’m super open to all types of relationships that people explore and feel drawn to, and this is what feels right to me.  xo

February 13, 2016

some thoughts on capitalism, some thoughts on life

It’s important to talk about these things.

Our inevitable flaws, our deepest heartbreaks, our tightly wound, “What if’s.”

It’s important to talk about them rather than just think them.  As beautiful and helpful as introspection is, talking is a necessity.  Often, it’s our most available form of release.  Words enter the world rather than being bounded by our crazy minds.  Clarity only comes with space.

We have heard it, maybe too many times, that we aren’t perfect.  Well, of course not– when we use society’s definition of perfection.  We are part of a continuous cycle of life that connects everything on this planet and outside of it.  We cannot reject this fact.  It is found in all disciplines, all belief systems, all moments.   Yes, existentialists believe that each of us humans are alone in this world; but even psychologists, while creating so many grand theories, must lay down their intellectual hands and rely on societal views. 

Society squeezes its way into so many crevices of our brain, it can be hard to tell whether your way of being is truly you, Being, or you, a Societal Manifestation.  So what is it that society values?  You can ask this to anyone on the street and get fairly accurate answers.  Moreover, it depends on the society in question.  Here I shall stick to the United States.  Our society values independence, as deemed fit by government.  Our society values success, and defines success as monetary, as deemed fit by government, and social, as often deemed fit by corporations that influence government.  Our society values freedom, but only as deemed fit by government. 

The United States, our society, values one thing above all else: government and corporation opinion.  And what underlines their opinion?  Well, money!  Profit!  Power!  It’s all a power struggle– at least, on the outside, it’s a struggle for those not in comfy government/corporation leather chairs.

So, to recap:  Our minds are malleable.  Our minds are greatly molded by society.  Our society values profit and power above all else.  Thus, by association, our minds value profit and power above all else.

Can this really be true?  Can being American really lead us down this deep pit of mental one dimensional despair?

Maybe.  I think, to an extent, we all have these values embedded in our subconscious, affecting our thoughts, language and behavior. 

Once you start observing your mind, however…once you start observing your world in a way that’s not clouded by judgements engrained in you by society, you start to choose.  You can choose to form your own values, you can choose to embody, to the greatest extent, only the values you created for yourself from the start of your life on.  Because this is all not to say we don’t have our own belief systems and simple ways of being that aren’t influenced by society.  We are unique individuals who hold the universe in two hands every day, simply by being.

It’s important to talk about these things.  Without talking, you may never realize how connected we all are.  You may have been being way too hard on yourself all along.

It’s been a busy weekend…

Happy Labor Day!

 

In honor of someone I love, I shared this story on Instagram today.  I wanted to share it here, too.

 

Last night someone asked me why we, humans, exist. I responded with what I believe: to observe without judgement, and to love. And yet, just moments before, I spent time explaining that there are always limits to what we can know for sure, that there are no “absolute truths.” I now realize that this is still true; therefore, instead of knowing our purpose, or even simply believing in it, we must create it. Chanel your Being, your connection to others, into a life of meaning and peace. Even if I don’t “know” that this is a truth, I can know that I – that we together- created it. We can all put our love into practice.

 

September 6, 2015