I’m not looking for The One.
I suppose I’m just looking for the one I won’t get tired of.
……
The number of betrays I have felt–
they are buried down deep
and it was not until I was ready enough to hold the shovel
that I could dig them out and start to peek
at the friends that I fell for,
the hearts that broke
a piece of mine away
and it’s like I’m still looking for the pieces.
…..
I never intend for much of anything
to happen
because once I feel like something is “home”
like someone is “home”
I want nothing more but to stay in one place
in time
and swim as the minutes swoon,
tears fall, smiles appear
…..
I don’t want them to go away;
this explains why my biggest fear is change
….
Not just any change,
like the nickels in my pocket,
the grass stain on my shirt,
my aging years, the new day coming
….
We learn lessons not from god,
but from his gifts
this world is nothing but experience
…
and yet all we want is not thankfulness,
but choice
between “who” and “what” and “when”
and the childhood friends that soiled your memories
or maybe just burned up the sides
of the one polaroid you have left.
..
All I want is to go home.
.
All I need is to realize, to accept,
that home is not the same place it was when I left it.
………………………………………………………………………….
May, 25, 2015