To Men Who Take But Don’t Give

You’ve taught me:

it’s hard

to love yourself

when you give yourself up

like meat for slaughter

when you’re taught

you are not an animal,

you are the meat;

you are a hole to be filled

and wiped clean afterwards;

you are the microphone

through which he speaks.

 

Even before I fuck you

I’ll remember my name,

part of the heavens you’ve never seen,

let alone touched.

 

Leave me alone to write, without you.

 

Your gaze makes me too tired to speak.

 

This is my time to breathe,

not your time to sink me down with you.

You’re 4 months into America

and you think you can laugh at our president?

Tell me what street to take?

 

Sex led me to you?

 

Is that what we did?

No.

 

You cannot touch

what you cannot see–

your heart is nowhere on this table,

on this bed. Your ego lifts you

(to make up for your small dick).

 

Am I right?

Do you believe in “right”?

Me neither.

But I do believe in justice.

 

What do you believe in?

 

December 6, 2018

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Believing

Believing that you can…

Believing that you are worth it…

Believing that you deserve it…

 

It’s a practice.

 

Do you believe?

 

Who’s stopping you?

 

March 5, 2017

An Empty Space

There’s an empty space inside you

that no one else can steal

 

There’s an empty space inside you

and, I assure you, it is real

 

Curl up with tea and blankets

open up a book or two

 

And relish the sweet nothingness

each empty page brings you

 

Nature has its pleasures;

nature has its pains

 

The one thing nature tells you:

we will never stay the same.

 

Out with soul and romance!

Rejoice in the heaven of song!

 

No one really knows you

No one can tell you you’re wrong

 

In this spacious nothingness

there’s no wanting, there’s no pride

 

Good and bad are memories

There’s no reason left to hide.

 

August 28, 2016

 

Self Love

I’m

beginning

to see

self love

in a different way.

 

Learning

to love yourself

for what you used to doubt,

to question, to hate–

that is the most important part.

 

The smile on your face,

the eyebrows above it,

the eyes a boy used to love,

the stories within them.

 

Water can crash down

and hurt you but in the end,

it is only water.

 

Everything else is just a feather,

floating,

remaining neutral.

 

July 2, 2016

Like I Love Myself

Every time

the moon moves

my heart seems to be

in a different place…

 

And yet

the one place

I know that it will stay

is the most important–

 

Indefinitely.

 

Whoever will love me

like I love myself

but better–

that is who will stay.

 

That’s who

I will keep in my front pocket,

my golden chain, my heart

beating into an infinity

that is a too-soon,

 

Not-enough-time kind of love.

 

Until then,

I have the better–

well, the best–

things:

life,

love,

 

And me.

 

March 11, 2015

Radio Love

You’re giving me

such sweet nothings

’cause I’m happy.

 

I met you in the summer

and you told me, “Ain’t it fun

living in the real world?”

 

We count on no one,

I guess– until I counted on you.

 

I came in like a wrecking ball

and was so fancy–

you already knew.

 

I wanted you to love

all my curves and all my edges,

all my perfect imperfections,

 

And JT told me it’s not a bad thing

to fall in love with you–

but now it’s gonna be me. 

June 26, 2014