Too Much

So –

do you think this neighborhood is too

gay

for you,

maybe too

poor 

for you

and oh, that means too

dangerous 

for you?

Are you just so

uncomfortable

when you see people

who are

not

like

you

because you’re not gay –

gosh, no;

and you’re not poor,

not gonna steal some stuff

off some other soul’s back

because you were left behind

to feed a mother and two kids-

no way.

 

You are just a person,

after all–

you shouldn’t

have to deal

with these feelings,

these

difficult

thoughts.

No —

you can just leave them outside,

let them blow away

in the blizzard,

land on someone else’s

snowy, white

front step.

 

 

January 3, 2018

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Flowers

These flowers are growing again

in my head

and like a vine

they neither swoop nor swing–

they cling

to each side of my brain,

try to determine what type of learner I am

but either way, thoughts can’t be pushed

out of the way

so I’ll plan out another day to pluck and prune.

 

For now,

let me sit, lay down my head and rest

let nature have its way

before I run and play, amidst the gardens

outside these walls; in each season

they grow flowers, all their pinks and blacks

and greens– they look familiar to me.

 

In my mind I see a mirror,

one I can’t protest:

an image of you, an image of me

and sweet, pink, spring flowers,

scattered at my feet.

 

Each petal falls so slowly;

I do not stand in their way.

 

I watch in perfect silence;

I pray for peace today.

 

February 28, 2016

Morning Commute

Take

your hand

off the door

and take a step

with me.

 

Flex

your eyebrow

while your side eye

grants me a grin–

did I say it

again?

 

“I like you,”

and all those messy thoughts aside,

“I know you,”

or at least I want to.

 

My steps feel lighter

now that you’re part of the story

rolling through my head–

or is this my stop at Penn?

 

Don’t want to miss my train again…

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January 28, 2016

on lunch break

how nice it is

to sit by the river and unwind,

blink by

blink.

 

you know your same-old view

in the city:

skyscraper tree tops

that leave you wanting for a chickadee

 

where can I find just one bird?

(the pigeons are beautiful, mind you.)

 

I yearn to hear a song;

the water gives it to me–

it gives it to us

as long as I keep my ears open

I can hear it all the way from the skyline.

 

remind me how love songs go, again?

does he start?

am I the minor chord?

 

the wind trickles in;

between my toes

the water hums.

 

my shoulders sigh

as I remember how easy it must have been

 

to let

doors open

before windows closed,

families eat meals together

after swimming through the day.

 

the world stills;

my eyes close;

and I tell my heart,

“It’s okay

to remain

open.”

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January 21, 2016

some thoughts on capitalism, some thoughts on life

It’s important to talk about these things.

Our inevitable flaws, our deepest heartbreaks, our tightly wound, “What if’s.”

It’s important to talk about them rather than just think them.  As beautiful and helpful as introspection is, talking is a necessity.  Often, it’s our most available form of release.  Words enter the world rather than being bounded by our crazy minds.  Clarity only comes with space.

We have heard it, maybe too many times, that we aren’t perfect.  Well, of course not– when we use society’s definition of perfection.  We are part of a continuous cycle of life that connects everything on this planet and outside of it.  We cannot reject this fact.  It is found in all disciplines, all belief systems, all moments.   Yes, existentialists believe that each of us humans are alone in this world; but even psychologists, while creating so many grand theories, must lay down their intellectual hands and rely on societal views. 

Society squeezes its way into so many crevices of our brain, it can be hard to tell whether your way of being is truly you, Being, or you, a Societal Manifestation.  So what is it that society values?  You can ask this to anyone on the street and get fairly accurate answers.  Moreover, it depends on the society in question.  Here I shall stick to the United States.  Our society values independence, as deemed fit by government.  Our society values success, and defines success as monetary, as deemed fit by government, and social, as often deemed fit by corporations that influence government.  Our society values freedom, but only as deemed fit by government. 

The United States, our society, values one thing above all else: government and corporation opinion.  And what underlines their opinion?  Well, money!  Profit!  Power!  It’s all a power struggle– at least, on the outside, it’s a struggle for those not in comfy government/corporation leather chairs.

So, to recap:  Our minds are malleable.  Our minds are greatly molded by society.  Our society values profit and power above all else.  Thus, by association, our minds value profit and power above all else.

Can this really be true?  Can being American really lead us down this deep pit of mental one dimensional despair?

Maybe.  I think, to an extent, we all have these values embedded in our subconscious, affecting our thoughts, language and behavior. 

Once you start observing your mind, however…once you start observing your world in a way that’s not clouded by judgements engrained in you by society, you start to choose.  You can choose to form your own values, you can choose to embody, to the greatest extent, only the values you created for yourself from the start of your life on.  Because this is all not to say we don’t have our own belief systems and simple ways of being that aren’t influenced by society.  We are unique individuals who hold the universe in two hands every day, simply by being.

It’s important to talk about these things.  Without talking, you may never realize how connected we all are.  You may have been being way too hard on yourself all along.